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Do Things Alone

Adulting + Why You Need To Do Things Alone & How I’m Going to Start

About two weeks ago one of my best friends packed up her SUV, and her kayak for a couple days in Door Country (the Cape Cod of the Midwest) for a solo trip. I was so envious of her ability to just go do something by herself, because I realized I hadn’t done something alone for months.

I’m not sure what happened, I’ve always been the independent one. I studied abroad for a semester without knowing a soul. I joined a sorority by myself. I joined debate by myself. I was not afraid to do something just because I didn’t know someone. Ever since moving out to Boston I feel like I lost that inherent confidence that I had.

It maybe that for the first time in my life I have a safety net at home, Matt.

As soon as I saw my best friend was on that trip I texted her and told her how amazing I thought she was. It was a huge wake up call for me.  I realized that if I wanted to keep some semblance of myself, I needed to start doing things on my own again.

Do Things Alone

Why You Need To Do Things Alone

You Have to Be a Whole Person on Your Own

No matter if you’re single, in a relationship or married, it’s really important to be your own person, as a whole. You should have your own hobbies, interests, and friends. By doing this you’re able to be there for your loved ones in a better way. You’re able to contribute to conversations, help them out by knowing other people, and bring different life experiences to the table.

Going to  Places Alone Teaches You About Yourself

I don’t think I’ve ever learned more about myself then when I studied abroad. You have to learn how to use the subway system, you have to fly across the Atlantic alone, and you figure out that you’re  able to rise to the occasion.

If you never challenge yourself, how will you know what you’re capable of?

There’s No Need to Wait for Other People

Want to see a movie really badly? Or how about going to a museum? Go by yourself. Buy a ticket, don’t tell anyone you’re going, and just go. Enjoy doing something by yourself that you would normally need someone else for. Get dinner first too.

Learn that there’s no need to wait for other people. I live with my forever partner, and I still go to museums by myself. Why wait for someone else’s schedule when I can just go by myself.

At the End of the Day It’s Your Life

While there are other really important people in your life, when you’re old it’s going to be your experiences, not others, that you remember. It’s your own growing moments that will allow you to live a life that you’re proud of. It’s not your partner’s life, it’s not your best friend’s life, and it’s not your parents’ life.

 

How I’m Going to Start Doing Things By Myself

Like I mentioned above, I realized how little I’ve been doing by myself, and that I really wanted to change that. Here’s how I’m going to start getting back to doing things by myself:

  • Go for walks at night after dinner while Matt studies
  • Watch a movie in a theater by myself
  • Head over to the Charles Esplanade alone to read
  • Spend time at a coffee shop alone
  • Go to an event alone

For you:

  • Think of one activity a week you can do by yourself, and do it.
  • Is there one thing that scares you to do by yourself? Try to do it.
  • Activity that you do with a friend or significant? Do it once by yourself.

 

I think it’s really about taking baby steps. But getting out of the house when I feel like I’m just binging Netflix, and going to do things even though I don’t know anyone.

 

What do you do alone? Anything to recharge yourself? Let me know down below!

xx

Ashley

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  • mckenna bleu

    The older I get the more I like to be alone 🙂 it’s good for the soul. Great post!

  • Wow, good for your bff. I think I will go for walks on my own too!

  • Nicole Coppins

    I am one who needs a little bit of alone time every week… Definitely something I try to practice often, even if it’s as small as going on a walk after work.

  • love this! It’s so important to get to know yourself and one way to do that is by doing things alone! I think it’s a lot easier to figure out your own likes/dislikes when nobody is giving their opinion

  • I know this may seem silly but I REALLY struggle with doing things by myself. I have pretty terrible social anxiety and at times it’s hard for me to push myself to even do things like the grocery shopping. I do find being independent relaxing and rewarding when I’m able to get outside my comfort zone.

  • I am an only child so I am so use to doing things alone. I will say that sometimes it’s harder now because I just don’t want to.

  • Being able to do things for yourself is so important. Like Maegan, I’m an only child too so I’m super used to being alone myself.

  • I have started to embrace doing things by myself. Traveling is a little scary sometimes though.

  • Jordyn Upchurch

    My husband has a really demanding job and most of my friends now, as we get older, are busy with their jobs and families so I have kind of found myself forced to do things alone sometime. I used to be sad about it, but especially after reading this it makes me glad that I do so many things independently!

    xoxo, SS

    Southern and Style

  • I am a big advocate for doing things on your own. And you are totally right that having significant other makes that hard sometimes. It is so important topic that people don’t talk about much and I am glad you shared this.

  • I love this! I’ve been pretty good about finding time to venture out into the world alone- even if it’s just grabbing a coffee & sitting by myself- its very refreshing
    -Nicholle
    http://www.nichollesophia.com

  • Doing more things alone was on my goals list a few years back! It really gets me out of my comfort zone.

  • Yes yes yes! I have been in a relationship for 5 years and the one thing that I always make sure to do is to include “me” time and to spend time away on my own. It’s a great feeling!