About two weeks ago one of my best friends packed up her SUV, and her kayak for a couple days in Door Country (the Cape Cod of the Midwest) for a solo trip. I was so envious of her ability to just go do something by herself, because I realized I hadn’t done something alone for months.
I’m not sure what happened, I’ve always been the independent one. I studied abroad for a semester without knowing a soul. I joined a sorority by myself. I joined debate by myself. I was not afraid to do something just because I didn’t know someone. Ever since moving out to Boston I feel like I lost that inherent confidence that I had.
It maybe that for the first time in my life I have a safety net at home, Matt.
As soon as I saw my best friend was on that trip I texted her and told her how amazing I thought she was. It was a huge wake up call for me. I realized that if I wanted to keep some semblance of myself, I needed to start doing things on my own again.
Why You Need To Do Things Alone
You Have to Be a Whole Person on Your Own
No matter if you’re single, in a relationship or married, it’s really important to be your own person, as a whole. You should have your own hobbies, interests, and friends. By doing this you’re able to be there for your loved ones in a better way. You’re able to contribute to conversations, help them out by knowing other people, and bring different life experiences to the table.
Going to Places Alone Teaches You About Yourself
I don’t think I’ve ever learned more about myself then when I studied abroad. You have to learn how to use the subway system, you have to fly across the Atlantic alone, and you figure out that you’re able to rise to the occasion.
If you never challenge yourself, how will you know what you’re capable of?
There’s No Need to Wait for Other People
Want to see a movie really badly? Or how about going to a museum? Go by yourself. Buy a ticket, don’t tell anyone you’re going, and just go. Enjoy doing something by yourself that you would normally need someone else for. Get dinner first too.
Learn that there’s no need to wait for other people. I live with my forever partner, and I still go to museums by myself. Why wait for someone else’s schedule when I can just go by myself.
At the End of the Day It’s Your Life
While there are other really important people in your life, when you’re old it’s going to be your experiences, not others, that you remember. It’s your own growing moments that will allow you to live a life that you’re proud of. It’s not your partner’s life, it’s not your best friend’s life, and it’s not your parents’ life.
How I’m Going to Start Doing Things By Myself
Like I mentioned above, I realized how little I’ve been doing by myself, and that I really wanted to change that. Here’s how I’m going to start getting back to doing things by myself:
- Go for walks at night after dinner while Matt studies
- Watch a movie in a theater by myself
- Head over to the Charles Esplanade alone to read
- Spend time at a coffee shop alone
- Go to an event alone
- Think of one activity a week you can do by yourself, and do it.
- Is there one thing that scares you to do by yourself? Try to do it.
- Activity that you do with a friend or significant? Do it once by yourself.
I think it’s really about taking baby steps. But getting out of the house when I feel like I’m just binging Netflix, and going to do things even though I don’t know anyone.
What do you do alone? Anything to recharge yourself? Let me know down below!