This summer I moved in with my fiancé for the first time, it’s the first time I’m living with a romantic partner and not a friend or random roommate. Moving in together has been great, but I’d be lying if it wasn’t rocky sometimes. Here is what I’ve learned from moving in with my partner!
1. Try to Move Into a New Space Together
Matt and I actually moved across the country together, but we were able to pick out everything for our space together. As someone who has moved into an apartment where someone else was already living, it’s hard to feel like it’s your space to. Take the time to find a new place together.
If you can’t do that, think about what pieces of yours you will keep, and what pieces of their’s you will keep too. Think about redecorating the space together and having pictures of their friends and family added to the place!
2. Create Space
In tiny apartments, it can be hard to have your own space. We have our bedroom and a living room/kitchen. If you don’t have that ability, try to make it so there is some sort of separation. After a fight, or just to watch separate TV shows, different spaces are needed.
This can also be helpful if one of you is an introvert or works at home. Matt and I ended up creating an office space for when one of use wants to work. He studies for exams, (for his profession) and I blog!
3. Spend Time With Other People
We’re still working on this. Matt has friends from work and a couple friends from school who moved out to Boston too. But the one night that he is out of the apartment doing things with friends, I normally call a friend or FaceTime with them. By spending time with other people, we’re able to come home to each other and talk about it!
Having an identity outside of your relationship is healthy. Maintaining friendships outside of your couple is good, and allows you to still feel like yourself even after moving in together.
4. Try New Things Together
It’s so easy to get into a rut with your significant other, especially when you live together. Try new things together, and mix up your routines together. While routines are great, stepping outside your comfort zone is great for you and your relationship.
Here are some new things to try together!
-New movies/TV shows
-New restaurants & dishes
-Explore parts of your city and surrounding area, even if you’ve been before
-New hobbies — Matt & I have both starting running (well he runs way faster than I do)
5. Learn How to Compromise
My fiancé and I come from very similar backgrounds, but every family operates just a little differently. Learn how to compromise with what you do. It’s hard to change what we grew up with, but together you can make new habits.
It’s going to take time and patience which are hard. Both of us have had to take a step back and calm down before coming back to the conversation.
6. Speak Openly About Finances
One of the most “taboo” subjects for some relationships can be money. Before you move in together talk about who will pay what bill, and how you will split up the finances. Matt and I are getting married so the way we do things is a little different, and I’ve found that each couple does it differently.
It doesn’t matter how you do it, but set expectations from the beginning, and continue the conversation as you go. Keeping it open will result in less hurt feelings and conflicts.
On the note about finances, share household duties and responsibilities. This doesn’t always mean 50/50 by the way. Somedays you’ll end up doing more because your partner is sick or busy at work and somedays they will do the most work. Sharing responsibilities and duties will make your lives easier.
8. Don’t Stop Dating Each Other
Routines, like I’ve said before, are really easy to fall back on. Eating in all of the time or not eating together because of schedules can be hard. Don’t stop showing your partner how much you care. Leave little notes, bring home their favorite treat, and plan fun date nights no matter your financial means.
9. Most Importantly…
HAVE FUN! You’re hypothetically living with your best friend. Make forts, have popcorn for dinner, and laugh! Life is too short to play perfect house
Photo Cred: Holen Photography
What advice do you have for moving in with your partner? Who do you live with now?