Let’s talk about something that doesn’t make it into leadership seminars or business school case studies: dating while pursuing an executive career. After my last relationship ended (partly due to my “work obsession,” as he called it), I’ve learned some interesting lessons about romance in the corner office era.
First, let’s address the elephant in the room: time. Between quarterly board meetings, international client calls at odd hours, and those “quick” dinner meetings that somehow stretch until 9 PM, finding time to date can feel like trying to fit another full-time job into an already packed schedule. I’ve learned to be upfront about my calendar constraints from the start. When I matched with James, a software architect, my first message included: “Full disclosure: I have a board presentation next week, so I’m on crazy hours until then.” His response? “I appreciate the heads up. Coffee when you’re back on Earth?” Reader, we’re still dating six months later.
Here’s something they don’t tell you: success can be intimidating to potential partners. I’ve had dates who seemed uncomfortable when I mentioned my role or awkwardly joked about me being their “sugar mama.” But I’ve stopped downplaying my achievements or playing small to make others comfortable. The right person will celebrate your success, not feel threatened by it.
Speaking of right people, I’ve noticed an interesting pattern: the most successful relationships I’ve had were with people who also had demanding careers. They understand the late-night emails, the sudden travel requirements, and why sometimes a Tuesday lunch date is better than Friday dinner.
Some practical tips I’ve learned along the way:
- Be clear about your communication style. I let dates know that I might disappear during work hours but always make time for a goodnight call.
- Schedule strategically. I protect my Wednesday evenings and Sunday mornings for personal time – perfect for dating.
- Don’t apologize for your ambition. Ever.
- Use your executive skills: be efficient with your time, direct in your communication, and clear about your expectations.
The biggest lesson? Your career success and personal happiness aren’t mutually exclusive – they just require intentional balance. Just like you schedule that important client meeting, schedule time for dating. And remember, you’re not just looking for someone to fill your free time (what free time?), you’re looking for a partner who adds value to your already full life.
To my fellow ambitious singles: don’t let anyone make you feel like you have to choose between love and career. The right person won’t ask you to.
Until next time, Kay
P.S. Yes, I wrote this blog post while getting a blowout at 7 AM before a breakfast meeting. Multitasking at its finest!
