Let me tell you about the day I learned that home inspections can turn into wildlife documentaries. After months of house hunting, I’d finally found what I thought was “the one” – a gorgeous Colonial with the perfect home office setup (priorities, right?). Everything was going smoothly until our home inspector made his way into the attic.
Picture this: I’m standing at the bottom of the attic stairs in my perfectly pressed blazer (because of course I scheduled the inspection between client meetings), when I hear what can only be described as a muffled “Oh boy.” Not exactly what you want to hear from your home inspector.
Turns out, a family of raccoons had been running their own startup from my dream home’s attic. We’re talking a full-scale operation: entry point through a loose soffit, insulation transformed into luxury bedding, and what appeared to be a sophisticated food storage system (aka my future attic becoming their personal Costco warehouse).
The best part? The inspector discovered this setup because Mama Raccoon had arranged the insulation into what he called “the most organized nest he’d seen in 20 years of inspections.” Leave it to me to find a house with Type-A raccoons who probably had a better filing system than my own.
There I was, in my power suit, having to explain to my boss why I needed to extend my lunch break to discuss raccoon eviction protocols with a wildlife removal specialist. “Sorry, can’t make the 2 PM call – dealing with unauthorized attic tenants” wasn’t exactly a phrase I’d practiced in my communication workshops.
The silver lining? My negotiation skills from years of corporate deals came in handy – we got the sellers to handle the wildlife removal and repair all damage before closing. And yes, I did include a “raccoon-free premises” clause in the final contract. My legal team would’ve been proud.
The lesson here? Sometimes the biggest challenges in homebuying aren’t about square footage or school districts – sometimes they’re about discovering your dream home comes with its own woodland management challenges. And always, always check the attic.
Until next time, Kay
P.S. I now have a great icebreaker for team meetings: “Ever negotiate with raccoons?”
