So, there I was, in the middle of a quarterly planning meeting, when my phone buzzed with what I thought was a calendar reminder. Instead, it was my meditation app staging an intervention. “We notice you haven’t completed a single meditation session in 47 days, but you’ve opened the app 32 times during work hours. Is everything okay, Kay?”
Let me paint you a picture of my “mindfulness practice”: Downloading every meditation app with a free trial. Setting ambitious goals like “meditate for 20 minutes daily” (ha!). Using the calming background sounds to drown out my noisy open-plan office. And my personal favorite – playing meditation tracks during video calls to seem more zen while simultaneously answering emails.
The breaking point? Last week, during our executive team meeting, I accidentally hit play on a meditation track called “Releasing Workplace Anxiety” instead of muting myself. Nothing says “I’m totally handling this promotion with grace” quite like having a soothing voice ask “Are you feeling overwhelmed?” broadcast to your entire leadership team.
My smart watch has also joined this intervention. Apparently, my heart rate during “meditation” sessions matches my heart rate during presentations. Even technology knows I’m faking it.
But here’s the thing – this wake-up call made me realize something important. We’ve gotten so good at optimizing everything that we’re trying to optimize relaxation. We’re biohacking meditation. We’re measuring our mindfulness in minutes and steps. We’re turning wellness into another task to be conquered.
So, I made a change. I now have actual, phone-free meditation time. Yes, real meditation – not the “let me just check my email while the nice lady talks about breathing” kind. And you know what? It’s terrible. I’m bad at it. My mind wanders. I get fidgety. But that’s kind of the point, isn’t it?
For my fellow overachievers out there: Sometimes the most productive thing you can do is absolutely nothing. And no, scrolling through your meditation app library doesn’t count as nothing.
Until next time, Kay
P.S. I wrote this blog post without checking my phone once. My meditation app would be so proud. If only I could remember my password to log in and check my progress…
